Balls Are Cool.

My wife and I just got done watching a National Geographic special about 9/11. They focused on speaking with the people that were actually there, and in a lot of cases talked to the emergeny operators and survivors.

I was surprised how emotional the whole thing made me. A lot has changed in my life since that day, most especially the fact that I now have a wife and kids. I think it hit closer to home as they talked about speaking with people in their last moments of life, and how most of them just wanted their families and loved ones to know they were OK.

Another  emotion that erupted from within, which somewhat surprised me, was anger. That there were people in this world capable of inflicting that kind of damage on an entire society, merely because we believe differently then they do.

This is not anger with Muslims, Arabs, or any particular race or culture. This is the same anger I feel when I read about the man in Utah County who shot his wife, Kristy Ragsdale, as she was getting out of the car to go to church Sunday. Or when I read about Verne Jenkins, who was shot and killed after chasing a would-be thief out of a convenience store for stealing, of all things, a pack of gum.

It leads me to ask the question: What the HELL is wrong with these people?

Sometimes, I think people like this should be taken somewhere and executed. Painfully. Or tortured, or something far worse. Think of the pain and suffering these people and countless others have evoked on the friends and family these people have left behind.

And on the flipside of that intense hate, I wonder what circumstances could possibly have led up to these tragic events. What types of environments could these people have lived in to cause them to feel that these actions would somehow grant them a paradisiacal afterlife with God? Or, that shooting this person was the only way out of their current situation? What drives a person to kill?

In some ways, it’s why I fervently hope there is a God with the power to dish out punishments worthy of such offenses.

Unfortunately, all I can do is hope.

Tags: Random, Religion, Stupidity // Add Comment »

Today, a former employee came to visit us at work. (Actually, the guy that I replaced.) As I understand it, he left because he had several disagreements with other employees. I guess he just got to the point where he couldn’t stand it anymore, and walked out.

It became clear that he was still pretty upset with one of the individuals, in this case the “straw” that broke his back. When she said hi to him, his response was “Fuck you.” And I thought… “Wow, how classy. What a jackass.”

I started thinking about how silly it was that he was upset with her after several months had passed.

But, as I thought more about it… don’t we all hold grudges to one extent or another? I know I do. Especially lately… since it’s come to light that my in-laws are not particularly happy with me for one reason or another. I think that, for the most part, these sentiments wouldn’t bother me if these people were not such a big part of my life. If a co-worker expressed the same opinions, I would be a little bothered (to the extent that it affected my job, anyhow). If a complete stranger told me they thought I was a manipulative jackass, I’d tell them where they could stick it.

But these people are my wife’s parents. They are my children’s grandparents. As much as I’d like to deny it, their opinions (no matter how misinformed) do affect me to some extent. And, honestly, it’s a bit troubling that they feel so maligned by me.

Bottom line: I am holding a grudge against THEM just as much as they are holding a grudge against ME.

So, that’s a nice thought. Now, how do we fix it? That’s the hard part.

Tags: Family, Stupidity, Work // Add Comment »

Seems like blogs are full of “here’s what I’m changing for my new year’s resolution.” Man, that’s so cliche.

So I’m gonna do the same thing.

Mostly it’s about health for me. I’m overweight, and I have sleep apnea. There’s a little cause and effect going on there. So I got a gym membership, and I’m giving up all forms of soda (and anything else that has sugar, high fructose corn syrup, or aspartame in it).

I tell ya what, I’m rockin’ it right now. I didn’t think I’d make it this far.

Tags: Random // 1 Comment »

I took the fam to Burger King for lunch today. As I was eating, I noticed that my “medium” cup looked very much like the cups we called Large cups when I worked at McD’s 15 years ago. It was a 32-ounce beast, so small is now 20 ounces, medium is 32, and large is a whopping 44. Jesus.

After lunch, we headed over to Shopko to return some baby clothes my wife bought for the little one. Turns out whichever sweatshop  made them had forgotten to put buttons on the sleeves (whoops). While we were there, I perused their abundant clearance section, and realized they had a LOT of XXL and XXXL sized clothes on the rack (which is probably evidence that America is, indeed, getting fatter, but that’s a subject for another day).

I had this wild thought: What if clothing companies started doing the same thing fast food companies have done with drink sizes?

Imagine how much better we’d feel about ourselves, if an XXL was suddenly the “large” size. God, I’d be downright skinny in my medium (now XL) tee shirts and sweaters.

I should patent that. Too bad you can’t do that online with a credit card, eh?

Tags: Random // 1 Comment »

I’m sitting here in bed tonight, finishing my second Bacardi Silver. (Not my favorite. I like Smirnoff Ice better, if I’m just going for cheerleader beer.) My wife is next to me, doing her little word puzzles she likes so much. We just got done watching Will & Grace (I bought her the first season on DVD for Christmas.)

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Wow. How thrilling.” Well, yeah. Not really. But I mention this for a reason.

First off, a little over a year ago, I was a card-carrying member of the Mormon church. I was in what I call the “questioning” phase — I wasn’t sure what I believed anymore. We’d just had our fourth child, and the religion (or social customs, depending on how you look at it), dictated that I bless my new baby in church.

I wasn’t feeling too hot about that, but I didn’t want to disappoint my wife, my parents, or any of the extended family. I grew up in a very, VERY Mormon family. So I went through with it.

Fast forward eleven months, and here I sit having a drink. I don’t attend church. I don’t wear the garments anymore. I’ve come to the realization that I do not believe in anything I was taught growing up. (I brought up Will & Grace ’cause my wife pointed out how much I used to dislike that show. Because it was teaching my kids bad things. Y’know, ’cause gay people are messed up. At least, that’s what I was taught growing up.)

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not anti-Mormon or anything. If that’s what you believe — go for it. If you’re convinced it’s teachings are true — more power to you. But can you do me a favor? Will you (and everyone else who is a member of your church, most especially those who live in my neighborhood) do me a couple of favors?

1. Please stop judging me. I have chosen a different path. I am happy with my choice. I feel better then I’ve felt in YEARS, actually. Does that mean I am telling you your church is not true? No. It means I don’t believe it is. I have no right to tell you what to do, or to interpret what you feel God may or may not be telling you. That’s your business, not mine. (Just like me not believing is MY business, not yours.)

2. Please, stop asking me if there are any questions you can answer for me. Think of the inference there — you’re saying that if I were better informed, I would not have made this choice. Or maybe that’s not what you mean… maybe you mean to say that I haven’t read ENOUGH, and that when I have, I will change my mind. Well, sorry, but I’ve read all the same books you’ve read. I served a 2-year mission, went through the temple, and held all sorts of callings. I spent years reading the approved church books. I’ve spent the last two reading other books, which are most definitely NOT on the “approved” list. If, after all that, I still think parting ways with the religion is a good thing, do you think ANYTHING you have to say is going to make a difference?

3. Please, stop treating me like I have a disease. I really wish what I “have” is contagious, but it’s not. Let’s follow that dream for a second… just imagine, people treating people like human beings no matter WHAT religion they subscribed to. Imagine all the shit this world wouldn’t have to deal with.

4. Please, quit telling me to “think of the children.” Question for you: How many kids have grown up as non-Mormons in this world? Do you think all of them are bad people? And if your answer included anything like “no, but just think how much better they’d be if they were Mormon,” don’t you think you’re being a little pretentious? Face it, folks, good people come from all walks of life. And if you think I’m condemning my children to hell — or, even if you think I’m somehow lessening their potential in life — what kind of God do you believe in, that would punish children for their parent’s mistakes?

OK, all ranting aside — thankfully, there are many, many members of the LDS faith out there who do not fall into any of these categories. They are good people, living a religion that fits their needs. I’m not out here to knock that! If my kids grow up and decide to be Mormon, good for them. I don’t care WHAT they do with their lives, as long as they are happy, and trying to contribute to society. Personally, I think God feels that way too.

My wife is wonderful — I was afraid she’d leave me when I told her how I was feeling, but she’s stood by my side through all of it. My kids aren’t old enough for a discussion about this (and I have no desires to push them one way or another). I am fortunate to have a very open-minded sister I can talk to about things… but I fear I will never be able to talk to my parents and other siblings about my feelings. At least, not without my mother crying and my brother giving me that look — the one that says “How in the world could you do this?”

So, instead, I blog about this. Pseudo-anonymously. And hope that someday I’ll be able to let this out, and stop feeling like I have to hide who I really am.

Tags: Religion // 1 Comment »

So, yesterday, my wife informs me we’re short on food. Yeah, December 26th. The day after Christmas. The day that a bunch of morons go to the store and return things they didn’t like or need or want.

Apparently I am one of those morons. I don’t like making two trips for ANYTHING. You wouldn’t either, if you had four kids. So I decided to kill two birds with one stone.

Here I am, at 7pm, standing in line to return my unwanted gifts. (Sorry honey. I appreciate the effort, though. All your gifts rocked the house, except for the ones purchased at the last minute. Which I told you not to buy anyhow.) I’ve got my daughter, who is awesomely well-behaved, and my barely-under-three son who is just thrilled he’s not sitting in the cart. The line is long, but not as long as it could have been (and apparently HAD been earlier in the day). Said child is starting to lose patience, and wants to go find Mommy (who is picking up the groceries whilst I wait).

I am not a patient person. I’m getting better (having kids makes this a necessity), but I’m still not perfect. The rest of these Wal-mart shoppers sure make me feel better about myself. Here’s why.

First off, why the HELL do people go to Walmart on the DAY AFTER FUCKING CHRISTMAS and get upset when there is a line for returns? How could you NOT expect this line? And how can you NOT be patient with the person in front of you, WHO IS DOING THE EXACT SAME THING YOU ARE WAITING TO DO?

Second off, why do you wait for 20 minutes, and then leave when you’ve almost made it to your destination? I don’t mind, because it means there is one less person in front of me… but, seriously, how much time did you really save? You’ve wasted the 20 minutes… waste another 10 and get your item returned!

Third off, please do NOT cut to the front of the line just to see how many employees Wally World has workin’ the customer service registers, and then stand and curse about the lack of staff. I’m no expert here, seeing as how I’ve never managed a retail store (thank God), but it seems to me that if they HAD more employees to staff this area, they’d PUT them here to man the registers so they can stop listening to people like you bitch. Oh, and did you notice the rest of the store? How they had every freaking checkstand open to serve the REST of the throng that is actually trying to PURCHASE something on the store credit they got for said returned, unwanted gift? Maybe THAT has something to do with the lack of staff here…

I made it through the line, got cash back on the returns (yay for receipts), paid for my groceries and got the hell outta there.

And I bought my “replacement” gift online.

Tags: Stupidity // Add Comment »

Yeah, I registered a new domain name. And started a new blog.

Why?

Because I wanted to. And with a name like “Balls Are Cool,” how the hell could I go wrong?

This is going to be the new playground for my weird thoughts and ideas. I’m going to try and write here every day. And I’m not going to tell anyone about it, we’ll see if anyone finds it.

Later then…

Tags: Random // Add Comment »