I’m so tired…
I have this wonderful condition called sleep apnea. Most people know what it is. It’s my own damn fault, really — I’m too fat, so my airway closes off while I sleep. This prevents my body from getting into REM sleep at all, meaning I wake up as refreshed as a wino after a night of drinking followed by a nap in the park.
Several years ago, when I was diagnosed, I got to spend a couple of lovely nights in IHC’s sleep center. The first night, they hooked me up to various monitoring apparatus which checked my brain activity, breathing, and blood oxygen levels. I felt like a freaking science experiment, and I have no idea how they expected to get a good reading on any of my stats. I mean, I wasn’t going to sleep very well when wired up, especially when I felt like if I moved, I would somehow screw up the readings.
About a month later, when I went back for the second test, they fitted me for a CPAP. During the night, they play with various pressure settings on the device to see which one brings my blood oxygen up to decent levels, while at the same time still allowing me to sleep. It was the best night of sleep I’d had in ages.
Unfortunately, my experiences in the sleep lab did not carry over to in-home use. I still wake up feeling like total crap. I’ve been to a pulmonologist, who told me “Lose weight, there isn’t anything else we can do for you.”
If I don’t get eight hours of sleep in a night, it exacerbates the sleep issue even more. And let me tell you — getting eight hours of sleep in a night is far from the norm around here. We’ve got three kids under five, and anyone with kids knows how fun it is trying to get them to sleep through the night. Also, anyone who is a sysadmin can attest to the fact that sometimes, shit just breaks at the worst possible time (as was the case tonight, hence the reason I’m awake).
I’ve been attached to this damn machine now for almost four years. Like I said, I hold no illusions as to WHY I have this condition — it’s my own fault. I’ve been going to the gym now for almost 2 months — woo hoo! I’ve noticed I’m slimming down a bit, which motivates me even more. For the first time in those four years, I can actually see a light at the end of the funnel. I will get healthy and get rid of this thing for good.
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