Balls Are Cool.

There are big events in life that I have always considered life-changing events. Marriage. Children. The death of a loved one. You get my drift.

I would have to say that purchasing a house would rank very high on my list.

We closed on the sale of our current home on Friday. The movers will be here Monday, to move the furniture and the few of our belongings left (everything else was moved to storage last weekend) to their storage facility. We close on our new home on Wednesday, but won’t take possession until August 11th. In the interim, we get to live in my parent’s basement. Do I need to say how thrilled I am about that?

All in all, I have to say, I hate moving. I’ve pretty much hated this entire process. It’s stressful, and my daughter thinks it’s the end of the world (not that I expected any different, she’s 12, and has lived here more than half her life). I can understand that. I hope we never do this again.

In truth, my kids are the main reason my wife and I WANT to move. Our neighborhood, due to the fact that the homes are some of the few in the valley below $150k, attracts two things: White trash and renters. I may have ranted about this in a previous post, it’s hard to say. So, either we get shitty neighbors, or we get transient families without roots (or, sometimes, both). My daughter has had several friends move away, and it seems that the ones who DO stay are less than optimal in terms of the kinds of kids one would like to see their child hang out with.

We’ve also had problems with the school. It seems that there are only a handful of the staff that really give a rat’s ass about the success or failure of our child. Unfortunately, it took so long to find the ones that did, that nothing could be done about it until after we’d made the decision to move.

I guess I’m saying that, despite the royal pain in the ass that is moving, it will be better in the end. The neighborhood is nicer, the house is much larger (and has a garage… I am absolutely STOKED about that), and best of all, there is absolutely nothing else that needs to be done to this house. The basement is 100% finished, and all major repairs and upgrades have been taken care of. Woot!

I guess I’m not very sentimental, either, because as we were pulling out of the driveway to run some errands today, I looked back at my house and thought “I won’t even miss this place.”

Tags: Family by Balls!
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I love my kids. Really. They are so freaking awesome.

Sometimes, though, they are not. And one of those times is when we are grocery shopping.

I once mentioned the frustration I feel when I’m trying to shop with four kids who are tired, ornery, and ready to be out of the store. This friend has a kid, so I was kinda surprised when he acted like it was not as big of a deal as I was making it.

I wanted to punch him in the mouth.

First off, as anyone with children knows, kids lose interest in things quite quickly. They think the idea of going to the store sounds fun, till they realize we’re not buying them treats. (This used to be a semi-regular occurrence, but we’re trying to help them develop healthy eating habits.) And after the first few minutes, they’ve lost interest in the toys we’ve brought them and have either started to pick on each other, or started to cry (depending on the age).

Second off, there is the sheer volume of food required to feed such a group. We’ve been fortunate in that I have a skill set that is somewhat in demand at the moment, and as such I’ve been able to make a living. And thank God, because my grocery bill keeps going through the damn roof! The other downside to this, aside from the cash, is the fact that we can’t get through a week’s worth of shopping without using two carts.

I’m sure that I am part of the problem. I have little patience when it comes to going to the store. I want to go in, get what I need, and get the hell out. My wife, on the other hand, regularly adds things to the list (usually things she’s forgotten), or wants to look at other non-food items (such as clothes for the kids). Usually this results in an angry “lets-get-the-fuck-going-now-because-I-can’t-take-this” statement, to which she usually replies “All right, all right” and gives me a  (well-deserved) dirty look.

The other people at the store frustrate me, too. I mean… sweet Jesus, you are NOT the only person at the damn store! Move your cart out of the middle of the aisle, please. And what’s with the dirty look you give me when I ask you to move it? It’s not like I said “Get the fuck outta the way asshole!” If you recall, I said “Excuse me, please.” How can you take offense at that??

But worst of all is the feeling I get when I bring it all in the house. “$250 bucks and this is all I got?”

Tags: Family by Balls!
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Today, my wife had her wisdom teeth removed. She was fadirly nervous about the whole thing, though I assured her it’d be no big deal.

Turns out I was slightly wrong. See, my wife is… well, let’s just say she’s slightly over 30 so I don’t piss her off by telling everyone her age. As I’m sure you know, usually having them removed at a younger age makes things easier.

Half of them had curled roots, which made it a bit difficult to remove them. I’m not saying it was a huge ordeal or anything (I’ve heard some horror stories), all I’m saying is that if she’d had this done earlier, she probably wouldn’t be hurting as much right now.

Her being in pain means that I get to play mommy, something which usually doesn’t thrill my younger kids. I don’t think I’m quite as loving as she is. It’s a Dad thing, I guess.

I tell you what, though — it really makes me appreciate her. Sappy, I know, but it’s the truth. She does a HELL of a lot of work in one day. I mean, a day job is rough sometimes, too, but chasing the kids around the house, trying to keep the place semi-clean, and keeping them entertained is a BITCH!

I wonder how she has the energy to do ANYTHING at the end of the day. I mean, I only did this TODAY (well, I hope, anyhow), and I’m totally wiped.

Tags: Family by Balls!
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Today, a former employee came to visit us at work. (Actually, the guy that I replaced.) As I understand it, he left because he had several disagreements with other employees. I guess he just got to the point where he couldn’t stand it anymore, and walked out.

It became clear that he was still pretty upset with one of the individuals, in this case the “straw” that broke his back. When she said hi to him, his response was “Fuck you.” And I thought… “Wow, how classy. What a jackass.”

I started thinking about how silly it was that he was upset with her after several months had passed.

But, as I thought more about it… don’t we all hold grudges to one extent or another? I know I do. Especially lately… since it’s come to light that my in-laws are not particularly happy with me for one reason or another. I think that, for the most part, these sentiments wouldn’t bother me if these people were not such a big part of my life. If a co-worker expressed the same opinions, I would be a little bothered (to the extent that it affected my job, anyhow). If a complete stranger told me they thought I was a manipulative jackass, I’d tell them where they could stick it.

But these people are my wife’s parents. They are my children’s grandparents. As much as I’d like to deny it, their opinions (no matter how misinformed) do affect me to some extent. And, honestly, it’s a bit troubling that they feel so maligned by me.

Bottom line: I am holding a grudge against THEM just as much as they are holding a grudge against ME.

So, that’s a nice thought. Now, how do we fix it? That’s the hard part.

Tags: Family, Stupidity, Work by Balls!
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